From 2009 to 2017, this website featured a series of entries collectively titled “This Used To Be My Playground,” named after a 1992 Madonna song. It explored my relationship to the popular music of the 1990s, when I was in high school (1989-93), college (1993-97…ok, ‘99), and experiencing my first romantic relationships, some heartbreak, a surprisingly robust social life, the freedom of a car and an open northern California road, a too-early marriage, and about a year-and-a-half of fatherhood before the decade ended. This particular series taught me how to really write (the first few entries are terribly clumsy), and was one of my favorite creative experiences.
A bit of a change-up this month. I am turning this space into a forum for my firstborn son, at least for this entry.
From the time he could hold his head up in a toddler car seat to the time he was a teen in the front seat clutching the dashboard as my single-dad beater Corolla hydroplaned across another puddle in a downpour, I have controlled what’s on the car stereo.
He has some thoughts on this.
Without further ado, everything written hereafter is by my now-adult kid:
I don’t think things really happen in terms of NPR’s Tiny Desk Concerts anymore, but a decade ago they were a big deal. Some artists that you would normally associate with autotune or studio magic would show up in a Chicago office and prove, yes, they can in fact sing. T-Pain comes to mind…or maybe Stephin Merritt would remind you just how exciting they used to be. Just a bunch of old fat guys (keep in mind they are old and fat and old) in a close up space recreating par-for-the-course pop songs. I don’t think my father was much of a Magnetic Fields guy, but boy howdy, they break my wee little heart. He’d rather listen to AC/DC deep cuts…I will not be oh so cutting or harsh on this entry, readers. But I will get my licks in. Oh readers. I don’t even know if there is a 69 Love Songs Tiny Desk Concert. There probably shouldn’t be. Who would care?
2004
I am son of the Holy Bee (Cade), maybe you’ve heard of me, I can’t remember… I love all of the loyal readers. All seven of you. Just joshing, the Holy Bee boasts a monthly readership that I could only ever hope of dreaming to achieve in my neck of the atomized cultural woods. He earned it, I’d love to luck into it, all over it. Not to say that this audience is a product of anything other than wit and aplomb. I have produced for you here an actual article, taking a page out of my father’s book, detailing some of the albums I remember my father playing for me and my thoughts on them some decade plus later. Not backed by the same level of research and rigor you are used to, but backed by considerable heart. Lots of edits and re-edits (not really), lots of love (that’s true). Lots of the idea that I want some mark on this website when my father inevitably dies, so we and — more importantly I — can say we collaborated on an artistic project. Something every father and son can and should do, if they are so inclined. As opposed to, I guess, going fishing. Screw going fishing!
I kind of pity people who have an absolute zero in the artistic aspiration department. But I really should not. In fact, I pity myself even more severely. It is–not as I have been brought up, but as I have determined on my own–deeply lame to want to be creative when you have no business doing so, as I have recently realized (not true, see below* — ed.). Gore Vidal published his first novel at the age of 19, that was my mark when I was 16. A decade has passed and I have not exactly published a goddamn novel.
Ok, enough of these boring self-flagellations. Here we go, my first attempt at blogging (7th) although I used to have a secret and regrettable music journal, meant to impress older people (read: girls) with better taste than me (didn’t exist). I thought for a while that if my taste was good enough, that if I watched the right movies and listened to the right bands, that would be enough to win over the people I liked. I never really considered developing a personality of my own, and my presumptuous attitude towards those with otherwise normal affinities has burned a few bridges. Being really good at consuming media does not get you a girlfriend!
I could not help but shit on boring Burger Records artists like FIDLAR and the other brand of music enthusiast button pin, a satanic individual by the name of Jack Antonoff, who currently produces both Taylor Swift and Kendrick Lamar albums, but back in the day made horrendous indie rock music and the world’s worst Beatles cover. He’s the one who bought the Abbey Road console on reverb.com listed for 5 million dollars.
To take a second…music right now is incredibly good. Amazing albums are being cut every day. I think it is natural and respectable to give up on finding new music, or caring about it, but an assertion that new music has gotten worse, makes you sound like the audiences who shit themselves in front of Stravinksy. Just ridiculous. Music doesn’t magically get bad because we get old. It’s quite clearly the other way around. And another thing…
Has the Brooklynite “trade synths-for-guitars-self-loathing” completely subsumed good old fashioned rock and roll? What is the actual issue with guitars or vice versa? More importantly, are people ready to embrace something that is not what they like automatically? We cherish an open mind. Those parents of the kids who cried when they saw the Beatles on Ed Sullivan, they managed to temper themselves in many cases, are those kids paying it forward, even fucking at all? The answer is no. It’s a cesspool. But my parents have been a light in the sewer, as we will discuss.
I wrote a test essay to my dad about this when I was creating a mixtape I never finished, but was too afraid to not only finish the essay, but send it in the first place, to say that synths are better and guitars are lame, as a means of getting a rise. This was worthless, in fact. And also just a riff on something James Murphy of DFA and LCD Soundsystem said years ago, a person who is insufferable, and a band that has suffered some severe overcorrection in the late 20-somethings division of cultural tastemaking. LCD Soundsystem is pretty good, I will not talk about them anymore for fear of making someone upset for liking them too much, or liking them not enough. I would go so far as to say that LCD Soundsystem is the single most polarizing band among my generation, but that is a post for another time.
At the end of the day, someone has to program the synths, and for people who don’t watch live music anyway, the appeal of the mere ability to demonstrate a captivating live performance still seems to generate an inherent bias against the synth, or the plug-in, or the what-have-you. The Holy Bee might tell you they are not legit because they cannot play any instruments. What gives?! That only matters at live shows. Don’t we spend thousands of pages more or less bringing the Beatles to completion for figuring out the studio is an instrument? What part of the record do you want to hear? Guitar players loop and finagle and molest their sound to oblivion, but because other bands’ source is from a keyboard attached to a someothering sound device, it’s illegitimate? A guitar solo is not any more inherently worthwhile than a synth solo just because the bald guy producing it is better at orgasm faces.
Animal Collective
As a proud Depeche Mode supporter, among millions, and as someone who loves anything else that makes brilliant pop music, let’s take a chill pill. Have fun, sing along, this enjoying music stuff is not difficult. In terms of music appreciation we kind of figured it out in roughly 2004, poptimists and rockists alike folded underneath the crushing weight of Clipse and Sufjan Stevens, at least as far as professional critics go. And this is a good thing! The problem now, is the criticism that pays a living wage is predicated on making sure hordes of 17-year-olds don’t firebomb your office for giving the latest pop star du jour anything less than a prostrating admission of their holiness. Christgau is still churning out the same post-punk fetishism, thank god. My favorite contemporary critic, Tom Breihan, is having a mental breakdown because all of his favorite artists seem to be either cartoonishly anti-semitic (Kanye) or serial rapists (most musicians).
What made the critics flip their little peaheads? Was it just “Hey Ya” that did some weird shit to the cultural landscape? Some good, some bad, certainly. Even in ivory towers, you need helping hands from the ones who built it, those clamoring from the walls, half-mummified. Slave labor. A bunch of African-American geniuses halfway through the 20th century are not the only thing that happened, although they are mostly what happened. Elvis is like when your niece puts sprinkles on the cookies you painstakingly folded, rolled, and cut and tells everyone they did it all by themselves. I recommend Just Around Midnight by Jack Hamilton if anyone is interested in this exchange between race and popular music at this time. It’s a magnificent book inspired by a song that was originally going to be called not “Brown Sugar” but “Black – ”…never mind. Honkeys did have good ideas musically, throughout history, and I want to acknowledge this, but…
…2009 Brooklyn Indie is not an effective example of this, unfortunately, despite being one of the more important scenes of my lifetime. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Grizzly Bear, TuNe-YaRdS…god TuNe-YaRdS sucks and is embarrassing for everyone involved. The other two bands are all right though, check out “Is This Love” by CYHSY, an absolute bop.
I know this is not your typical Holy Bee chow but listen, hold on, I’m not the Holy Bee, I am the son, I am the local boy done decent, product of both Sacramento and Yuba City. If you heard a reference to two beautiful boys in your time reading this blog, I am the elder, less beautiful one. The project, the mystery. A lot of time on this spinning planet we call earth, just a rock in a void, oh my god we are all flesh-columns made whole by an unforgiving particle that We shall not name (don’t you just hate hardcore atheists). Norm, I think, has a thing on this, like everything else, the devout Christian he was.
Continue reading








The Yardbirds discography was a mess for a long time, their relatively small output licensed over and over again for a parade of cheap reissues. My first Yardbirds CD was one of these “budget label” compilations. Part of Pair Records’ “Best of British Rock” series, the cover had a photo of the Beck-era band, with Clapton very clumsily pasted into the image so it looked like he and Beck were in the band together. Nowadays, the band’s digital-era discography has been squared away considerably. All of their pre-









Radiohead’s debut album is the one most likely to be dismissed as sub-par (especially by the band themselves). I thought it was pretty good, although the oppressive sulkiness of the lyrics precludes me from saying I “enjoyed” it. The production team of Paul Kolderie and Sean Slade were chosen for their work with the Pixies and Dinosaur Jr. and it shows. The quiet/loud/quiet dynamic of the Pixies (also used by Nirvana to great effect) and guitar crunch of Dinosaur Jr. are the dominant modes of
I co-founded the
We went from friends, happy to find common ground in something like 02’s
Membership expanded and became fluid — different members have come and gone over the years (including myself, as we’ll see), but it always seems to hover around ten. 










